Most of us feel like failures or at least hopeless klutzes when we try to learn to play musical instruments. I was without a doubt the shittiest trombone player in any school band or orchestra west of the Mississippi. It all began in 3rd grade when I chose trombone on music night at school. I never learned a single song for orchestra. However, I became very good at pretending I could play along with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass when I’d blast their latest album in the living room instead of practicing.
My best friend John was the first chair in our little gaggle of bone players. Why? Well, yes he was somewhat talented, but mostly I think because he practiced. I hated practice — or at least I thought I hated practice.
I took piano lessons in 4th and 5th grade. I could play Chopsticks and Heart and Soul, but practice was boring AF. Same with cello in 6th grade, although I was a bit more interested in the sounds you could make with that instrument.
Fast forward a few decades. I coached youth baseball for over 15 years. My sons are all grown now, but they were amazingly good players. One went on to become a major league pitcher. The other two might have gone far as pros as well if they’d wanted to. I also coached numerous neighborhood kids who became quite good at the game.
I got good at the coaching job after I figured something out. It took maybe three years of struggling and incompetency on my part. But after that third year, my teams never practiced. When we got together to work on things and to drill and to become better at the game, we played. We still called it practice, but everything we did was a game and about having fun.
I told all my teams the same thing for years: “Practice is what baseball is all about, the games are just to see if we’re getting any better.” My sons in particular took that message to heart. The best afternoons and weekend mornings of my life were out on empty fields with the three of them (separated by more than 3 years apiece) doing fielding and hitting drills or playing catch all by ourselves.
The same should be true of learning to play an instrument. I’ve been playing guitar consistently now for over 50 years. I never took lessons. I never “practiced.” I just played. I’m definitely only a marginally adept musician. But I love playing. A friend showed me some chords when I was 17 and said, “You can do this.” I tried.
The gist of what he’d sounded like was there. It seemed like an interesting challenge. That was it. We played together most every day for a year and a half until I went off to college. I’m still playing, and I don’t feel like a failed musician anymore. I’m pretty sure we can’t really be good at anything in life if we feel like we hate to practice.
If you love to play, though, well, you can’t fail when you’re playing. No matter what. No telling what comes out of that.
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